What is the meaning of life? It sounds like one of those questions someone would ask at college when we’d all stayed up far too late talking, but no one wanted to spoil the mood and leave. As adolescents we all had strong ideas about what life meant to us, but suspect if we were to have the discussion again at midlife, our answers would be more pragmatic and less hypothetical.
Fast forward a few years to when I was still trying to decide what I wanted to be when I grew up, and had decided that the answer was a psychologist. As I studied however I came to realize that I was taking the classes primarily to better understand myself. With that flash of understanding I acknowledged that I should not work on anyone else’s mind. Before I came to that revelation however, I encountered a writer who’s views on psychology made great sense to me.
This person was Viktor Frank and his book was Man’s Search for Meaning. I hadn’t heard of him before so read about his time in several concentration camps, and how he noticed distinct differences in patterns of thought and attitude between those around him who were determined to survive, as opposed to those who had given up all hope of survival. His idea was that we all have the ability to create personal meaning in life, and that it is the rough places that offer more teaching opportunities than the smooth ones. As this was only a little over the year of the death of my youngest daughter, I could really identify with this point of view.
Frankl had already begun to formulate his theory before the war, and continued to develop it, calling it ‘logotherapy’ based on the Greek word for meaning. In a nutshell his theory is that our purpose on earth is to find meaning in life. He said that life comes with no promise of happiness, only the freedom to find meaning for ourselves through the lessons and people that cross our paths. It is entirely up to us whether we choose to learn the lessons or ignore them, but since our primary drive is to find our meaning, we will ultimately be more fulfilled if we face the lessons rather than try to avoid them.
With all the new lessons that are thrown across our paths at midlife I found Frankl’s ideas coming back to me. While I still can’t answer the larger question of the meaning of all our lives, I am beginning to see patterns and recognize the knowledge that forms meaning in my life. Why I am here, what I am to learn and the people who cross my path because they know something I need to learn to move on to the next piece of the puzzle.
Look back over your life and notice the lessons you keep learning, the times when your learning grew exponentially and the people who came into your life to help and encourage you at those points.
It can be a fascinating thought and memory process, and at midlife with so much upheaval it is hard to believe we aren’t supposed to be using the experiences to expand our understanding of the meaning of our lives.
